dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
