At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
