Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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