My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
