Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
