Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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