Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
