Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
