Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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