I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
