I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
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he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
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Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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