Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
