sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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