i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
