i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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