shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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