Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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