Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
