he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
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How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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