i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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