Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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