You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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