I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
