If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
