The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
