We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I want her autograph on my taint
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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