he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
