you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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