question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you had me at cake vodka
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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