How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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