Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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