My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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