he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
