i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
