The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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