If i come over, it means nothing
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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