he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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