garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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