I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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