Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize