i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
