I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
