we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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