careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
