I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize