It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
