my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize