is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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