Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
