I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
