I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
