arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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