Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
