My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize