My first STD was from a foam party
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
there is puke in my bra ... again
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