I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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