what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
