and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
