So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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